Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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