I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize