You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think people are normalizing furries
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
