I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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