I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
