I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
