My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
