I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
