Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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