nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
