I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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