I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
