you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
