Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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