i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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