Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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