I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
