I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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