you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
