Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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