I just made out with a guy for $7.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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