i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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