Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You don't make any sense
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