Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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