i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
