Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
