He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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