____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
