Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
