id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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