Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Acid is not a monday night drug
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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