i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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