whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
