Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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