I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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