eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
