I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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