was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
