sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
