I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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