Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
