He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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