i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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