mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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