i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
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the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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