You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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