If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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