I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Randomize
