love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
