i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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