shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
