Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
