If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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