im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
