but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
