the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize