I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
