These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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