Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
